The unknown. It frightens most people, for some reason humans are apt to gravitate towards the worst possible scenario in an unknown situation because we fear it the most. Wizard's First Rule according to Terry Goodkind and the Sword of Truth series (the books, not the TV show).
I'm afraid that I won't get the job with the SPCA because I have no other options. If this doesn't pan out then I have no idea what other full-time job with benefits I could find- let alone one that I would love. I keep telling myself that this job is the "better" prospect God had in mind for me when I bombed the Kaiser audition. When I pray for something I always end with letting God know that if I don't get BLANK then I know it's because He has something better planned. So far, this has always been the case. But right now I can't see anything being better than this job. It's the whole package, everything any new college grad could want! To me, there is no better. So, if I don't get it I might just crack. Knowing myself, I would be crushed for exactly 24 hours then pick up the pieces and start over with even more determination and fire. But there would be a hole in my heart until the "better" shows up.
The scariest part is that I know I haven't been perfect lately, I haven't even been trying my best (spiritually), so I feel I don't exactly deserve this answer to my prayers. I've been consumed by school and work and shows that my spirituality has taken a nosedive. I need God more than ever in my life and my record the last couple years has been spotty. Why should He help me now? But faith, patience, and humility is key. Faith, faith, faith. Right?
So yes, I'm going a bit crazy waiting for a reply from the SPCA.
What is the job exactly, you ask?
The official title is, "Assistant Shelter Supervisor". It's kind of a big deal, basically assistant manager of the whole Oakland SPCA. It's salaried (not a ton, but enough that Mike wouldn't have to get a part-time job), has a great benefits package, and is flexible on hours. I love the people I interviewed for and I love the atmosphere of the Oakland SPCA. It would be absolutely and undeniably perfect.
Some of you know that I'm a huge animal person, especially dogs. But not a lot know that the SPCA has been my guiding star of inspiration. I've loved and respected their organization since I was about 12 years old when I did a report on puppy mills. Ever since, I made it my goal to work for the SPCA, to make a difference in the lives of shelter animals, and to raise awareness about adoption and the horrors of puppy mills. My second passion in life (and equally as important) is theater and teaching theater. Animals and Acting = Laurel. I can't survive without both in my life.
I would be perfect for this job, I just hope they know that and liked me enough to hire me. I will, of course, explode with happiness if they do hire me and shatter to bits if not. But...life will go on, I suppose.
Poor Mike, this has been all he's heard me talk about for the last week or two. I needed a second outlet. Sorry. :) Thanks for listening and the support. Please, pray that I get this job.
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