The Power of Habit

It takes me a while to learn new things. By that, I mean it takes me a while for the things I learn to really sink in, take hold, and grow roots in my brain. I'm not sure, but I think this is normal. Most of us might think we learned something new, but unless we actively keep thinking about it and exploring it, we'll never really, truly, deeply learn it. That's why repetition is the key to knowledge.

That leads me into the main point of this post. Habits and changing them.

I had a bit of an epiphany the other night about this subject, and as is common with epiphanies, it's not that groundbreaking but actually super obvious. That is the best kind of epiphany.

I learned a long time ago-- while working with animals-- that progress is not linear. As stated earlier, even though I learned something doesn't mean I know something well enough to apply it to my everyday life. The epiphany was this simple thought:

If progress isn't linear when it comes to training an animal to do something new or to change their behavioral habits....then that means progress isn't linear when I'm trying to change my own habits. DUH.

Then this thought:

Habits aren't just tangible things like my morning routine, but people also have a habitual way of processing information and habitual thought patterns. Some of which are self-harming and detrimental, but it's still HABIT...which is extremely hard to change unless we recognize this fact and purposefully work to change them.

There's this amazing book called The Power of Habit. It's one of the most mind-blowing and fascinating books I've ever read. Once again, this proves how long it takes me to learn something. I'd read it with animal behavior in mind- not my own! So it didn't quite sink in until now. So silly.

The reason I started thinking about it is because of two things:

1) My shopping habit

2) My eating habits

 
Both are detrimental in their own ways. Though I don't shop too crazily, it's still more than I should be doing on our current tiny budget. I know, in my brain, that I should NOT buy this shirt or those shoes...and yet...I do. Then I feel crappy, but not crappy enough to return the item.

My eating habits hurt me physically and yet I can't seem to stop eating junk. I know the power of my full-blown sugar addiction and have always been disinterested in breaking it until now. Mostly because I love, love, love the deliciousness of hostess cupcakes and BBQ potato chips. Not together. Sometimes together.

The reason this is all coming to a head now is because I truly want to change my habits. Every time I have tried in the past, I have failed miserably. Like, within hours miserably. Then because I percieve my mistakes as failure, I give up.

Stupid me!

Why?

Because I KNOW that PROGRESS IS NOT LINEAR! But I never applied it to ME and MY habits. To train a dog to be less reactive on leash? Totally! To train a dog to be friendly around strangers? Yes! To train a cat to tolerate more invasive handling? Completely! But to train me to eat less junk or buy less shoes? Nope. One mistake on my end and I figured, why bother? Also, I looked at it from a slightly more abstract angle- like "healthy food should satisfy me more than junk because of all the nutritional benefits, so I should not even want junk anymore if I eat healthy enough..." and "I should be satisfied with the things I already own and not feel the need to buy more." Thoughts like that are actually really damaging because they tell me what I should be feeling and so if I feel anything different I perceive it, again, as failure.

I am forgiving of animals taking time to learn new habits and changing their behavior, but not with myself. I'm patient and understanding when it comes to a dog having five great sessions and one horrible session, but not with myself. I hurt myself by having negative thoughts without even realizing they're negative and harmful. I need to be accepting of my slip-ups and start with small, incremental changes.

Failure comes when we try to make a major change and expect 100% progress instantly. I see that all the time with pet-parents. They start training and instantly feel as if their dog's behavior should change overnight because they have a couple good sessions. But that's not how behavior changes work. It's not instantaneous and takes time to form a HABIT.

As long as I keep trying and making some kind of progress each day and set realistic short-term goals, I will be successful.

It's been hard training myself to think, "I may have done badly these last few days, but today I can do better. And that's progress." Instead of saying, "Well, this is just who I am. Why try to change it?"

This is what I need to remember:

And to be more forgiving. To ALWAYS keep trying. First I have to change my thought patterns, because that is the root of my problem. Then I have the change my tangible, physical habits- like going through a drive-through and getting a burger while out and about. Instead, train myself to plan dinner ahead of time. Also, I need to be okay with mistakes and back-tracking and giving in to stress. Sometimes a burger is okay, but do it mindfully, not impulsively.

That's the end of my epiphany. Thought processes are habit. Habits have immense power over our behavior and choices. We can change them, consciously, with patience and a long history of reinforcement. So giving up after one mistake? The worst think I could do! Then I will not have enough history of reinforcement to fall back on when things get hard! So ALWAYS KEEP GOING.

The End.