Why are you reading this?

Don't you have anything better to do? No? Yea, me either. Actually, my "to do" list of things I "should" be doing is rather long, but lets not talk about that.

So the other week I had one of the worst experiences of my life. I was forced to sing in front of my acting class. Now, it's not like this was the first time I ever sang in front of a group of people, but it was the first time I had to do it three times in a row. Without the guise of a "character". The last time I sang in front of an audience my "character" was supposed to be terrified. It worked out beautifully, my acting was so genuine. This time there was no acting involved. Just me. Singing. I have never been so petrified in my life. I can truly sympathize with people suffering from phobias. I have discovered this is a full-blown phobia.

So I sang. My body shook uncontrollably, my vision tunneled, my breathing became erratic and every muscle clenched. I had to fight every instinct within myself to listen to the teacher and respond coherently. I had to force myself NOT to cry though the tears were welling. Afterwards, I kept my composure enough to make small-talk, laugh about the experience and walk to my car in a normal fashion. Once safe in my car, away from all other humans. I cried. I cried, and cried and cried, body shaking from the experience I had hours earlier. I vowed never, ever, to sing in front of people again and plan to keep that promise.

So that was my horrible experience for the week.

The GOOD experience was my decision to pursue a teaching credential ASAP. I officially applied to SJSU and sincerely hope to be accepted into their program for the spring. Soon, I know. But The sooner I get it the more legit I will be in the working world. I've discovered that I really want to help invoke a passion of literature (and theater) in adolescents. I want to teach High School English or Theater. If it hadn't been for one passionate English teacher in high school, my life would have been very different. He awakened a love of classical literature that I never knew existed. He also encouraged my writing. I love writing.

I believe that is enough for this blog entry. No one read it anyways, so it's more like a journal. Adieu, my lovely friends.

Laurel

Spay and Neuter your pets! Adopt a pet, don't buy one! Research, people. Five minutes is all it takes.